Hey, thanks for checking in! I wanted to give some what of an update with where I'm at in my walk with Jesus. I put my heart into this one, I hope you can see that as I share the growth happening.
I'm here to admit, that although I'm overcome with excitement for this journey, that doesn't mean there's no room left for me to also tremble in fear. Because in 2 months everything I've called home will be stripped from me. I will be indulged in a community filled with all new faces and stories behind their names. But I'm doing so with a heart abandoned and beating fast in anticipation for what's to come! I want you to know how serious this mission is to me. I am asking Abba, my Father, who is also my Creator and King, to use ME out of love and humility for the expanse of HIS kingdom. say what? This is no joke! I should fall to my knees in humility as I write this. There is no room for me to be thinking of myself. I've given my life to the One who wants everything to do with me, while I have given Him no reason at all to love me the way He does. All the Father asks of me is to remain in His love, and with that the only option I have is to love others as He loves me (John 15:9-12). Daily I am brought to the challenge of being in desperate need for the Lord. With the season of life I'm in I'm learning that all my heart wants is to draw near to Him. In all realness, there is a war in my heart taking place doing all that it can to fight that truth. Although my pride is real and raw it is also weak in the presence of the King. I have found such joy in the freedom of putting myself aside allowing His goodness to take over. The Lord is also currently teaching me just how much I need to be honest with my emotions and soak them all in for what they are. Because I am a feeler, one strong-devoted emotion holder that finds no shame in the realness of that statement, I am also capable of feeling multiple things at once. With the excitement in my heart comes fear, as well as nervousness, questioning, and combining all of that into a heart seeking after the Lord, just brings me down to my knees at the cross. Because just as quick as I am to jump to anxiousness and fear, He is quicker to wrap His arms around me and hold me tightly. Staying wrapped in His love is what keeps my joy present each moment. I'm learning humility in it's rawest form. That I can't look to self-fulfillment to any sort of degree if I'm choosing to run this race set before me with Jesus. That all of the walls of sin that have been built over the years are in desperate need of being taken down in order to be totally fulfilled in Him. But oh what great love I've found that there's peace resting in my heart amidst it all. So I'll end with this. As each day brings my departure nearer I am learning to lean into Jesus in all things. I'm taking in the present moment for what it is and I am so grateful for the places He's put me in and the people that I'm sharing this life with. I have community and such a strong amount of support here in Lincoln and it's a blessing to say leaving will not be easy. 2 months will be here one moment and gone the next, but I am thankful for where I'm standing right now and the growth taking place! thanks for continuing to follow me on this journey and seeing where Jesus will lead me! with so much love, rin
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Authorseeking Jesus & my purpose in His will Archives
January 2018
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